So, I thought I'd get my schmoop on.

RPS, Jared/Jensen | PG
Word count: ~1700
Summary: Jensen is watching TV on the couch when Jared plops down next to him and asks, “If you were an ice cream flavor, which one would you be?” Jared has a perfectly normal thirst for knowledge.


disquisition

Jared is not a fan of studying. The things he knows, he mostly learned from experience, or from stories told to him by other people; like just last week, he was hanging out and waiting for his next scene with this crew guy who told him that cats’ urine actually glows under a black light, and Jared had said ‘Yeah?’, and the guy nodded. Good enough. So now Jared knows cats’ urine glows under a black light, and he didn’t even have to look it up or anything.

So Jared’s not into research and all that, he never got off on getting the highest grade in class or acing tests, but that doesn’t make him stupid. He’s no genius, but he sure as hell gets by with just knowing things the easier way, content with near-effortless, spoon-fed information.

Then Jensen comes along, and suddenly all Jared wants to do is study him.

+

It had started out as curiosity, like the same sort of interest Jared got when finding something new and shiny. It’s understandable, Jared had thought, to want to know about this person, since they’d only just met, and they’re co-stars, and they need to get along, and for that to happen, they have to get to know each other.

It had made a lot of sense in Jared’s mind, so when they first met, Jared had grinned wide and said, “Hey, man, I’m Jared. Wanna hang out this week? What do you like to eat?” which was really just a subtler way of saying I want to know what your favorite food is.

Jensen had raised an eyebrow at him, like he was being strange, but he had this one-sided smile that Jared wondered what meant, and said, “I’m Jensen. Do you know a good steak place around here?”

Jared smiled even wider. “Just down the road.”

+

Years later they’re best friends and Jared still doesn’t know everything about Jensen. So Jared keeps studying him, thirsty for new information. Even after all this time.

Jensen is watching TV on the couch when Jared plops down next to him and asks, “If you were an ice cream flavor, which one would you be?”

Jensen says, “Ben and Jerry’s just came up with this ‘Stop Asking Me Strange Questions’ flavor. That one.” His eyes are glued to Ryan Seacrest.

Jared rolls his eyes, “No, seriously.”

Jensen turns to look at him. “Seriously? There’s a serious answer to that question?”

Jared shrugs. “I think I’m Rocky Road.”

Jensen smirks as he goes back to flipping through channels, “Why?”

“I dunno,” Jared says. “I’m bulky?”

Jensen laughs and lets a few minutes pass, where they’re both just watching the Mythbusters try to find out if it’s really impossible to find a needle in a haystack.

Then Jensen says, “Chocolate chip,” softly, and Jared smiles as one of the guys holds a needle up triumphantly.

+

When Jensen falls asleep in a sitting position, his head usually lolls to the right.

Jensen first crosses his arms over his chest and bends his head forward and closes his eyes. This is the posture he assumes when he wants to catch a nap between takes, or when he’s exhausted and there’s no bed in sight. He just sits down and gets into this stance and that’s what it means: he’s tired. So he starts out with his head dropping forward, but when he really falls asleep, breathing even and mouth slightly open, his head falls back and shifts right.

Jared doesn’t think that knowing this is bizarre; it’s just a thing that he happened to notice, really. They’re together most of the time anyway and it’s pretty hard to let pass. It’s also perfectly normal to watch Jensen’s eyes flutter open when he starts to wake up, shrugging out of the haze of sleep.

And if he finds himself sitting on Jensen’s right side more often, slouching a bit so his shoulder is at the same level as Jensen’s, it’s really just out of chance.


+

“Fuck,” Jensen says from the other room.

“What?” Jared yawns around the syllable because he’s up at three-fucking-AM for shooting. He moves around the kitchen, scratching his belly.

“I can’t find my phone,” Jensen says, sounding farther away. “The battery’s dead so I can’t ring it.”

Jared rubs his eyes and thinks of last night: Jensen getting his ass kicked at Guitar Hero, Jensen getting a text message, Jensen absently playing with the hem of his shirt while waiting for Jared to pop the DVD in the player, Jensen grinning and, wait, hold up, one of those is important: Jensen getting a text message and smiling a quiet smile, eyes soft as he read a message from his sister. He was on the couch.

Jared pads into the living room and looks under the couch pillows, and under the third one he finds Jensen’s phone.

“Jen,” he calls out, and Jensen smiles when he finds what Jared has in his hand.

“What am I gonna do without you, man?” Jensen says, taking the phone.

Jared smiles as his gut sort of drops. What are you gonna do without me, Jensen?

Jared wants to know.

+

One morning Jared gets home half-dead from shooting a Sam-centric episode, collapsing on the couch and breathing cotton. Jared closes his eyes for just a second, and the next thing he feels are Jensen’s fingers in his hair. He can tell they’re Jensen’s fingers, even before he disentangles his mind from the hazy dream it’s cooked up; he knows they’re Jensen’s fingers.

“Who else’s fingers could it be, genius?” Jensen says, and Jared wonders what exactly he said out loud.

Jared smiles and thinks that in normal circumstances when his brain isn’t running on two hours of sleep, he’d come up with something witty in response. But he’s exhausted and all he can do is let his eyes fall closed, and instead what he says is, “This isn’t really normal,” syllables meshed together like he’s drunk.

“Hmm?” Jensen says, voice distant like he’s drifting away. “What isn’t?”

“Your fingers in my hair, me liking it so much,” Jared says sleepily.

Jensen’s hand stills on Jared’s scalp, and Jared groans, he really does.

“What?” Jared’s voice rises a pitch higher, “Don’t stop.” Then he moves his head around and back into the cave of Jensen’s fingers, which he now knows the feel of on his head: fucking glorious.

Jared hears Jensen laugh softly before he goes back to kneading his fingers gently into Jared's skull and it’s perfect. Jared’s almost dreaming again when he feels Jensen go one last round on his scalp then pat his head lightly.

Jared is half out of it when he hears Jensen say, quietly, “Then it never happened,” before he’s gone and Jared sleeps.

+

The thing is, he doesn’t really let Jensen know that he’s the subject of Jared’s long-running private dissertation. But these days whenever he sneaks a glance at Jensen, he’s watching Jared right back, and Jared has to look away, because that’s not how this works. So he lessens his Jensen-watching thing and focuses on observing other things which prove to be inane when compared to his best friend.

He just wants to know more about Jensen all the time, and lately, more about the feel of Jensen’s skin.

And he already knows who Jensen’s favorite dead politician is, and if he believes aliens exist and who his favorite childhood cartoon character was, but he still wants to keep prodding and learning because these things aren’t exactly just offered to him anymore-- since Jensen he hasn’t been content with what he’s being given. Jensen, after all this time, is still this thing he wants to unfold and peel away the corners of and study until he’s seen everything and he can’t think of any more questions to ask- then he can go back and ask the old ones again to see if anything has changed.

Because now Jared is certain that something has changed.

+

Jensen is in his trailer, leaning on the small kitchen counter and putting on his watch, when Jared comes in.

"Hey-" Jensen starts.

“You make me want to write a thesis,” Jared says, like it’s this big revelation. Which, it kind of is.

Jensen laughs. “Are you saying I’m old enough to look like a college professor?”

Jared just smiles and says, “If you could do one thing and you knew you wouldn’t fail, what would you do?”

And it must have been the tone of his voice, because Jensen tilts his head to the left. He does that when he’s trying to figure something out. “Are we playing that game again?”

“Not a game,” Jared says, quietly.

Jensen looks at him, and it’s not a very familiar look, but Jared had seen it a few times before- it’s the one Jensen gets when he’s anxious, like that time he thought the show wasn’t going to get picked up for another season. He really, really wanted it to get picked up.

Jared takes a few steps forward. Then he says, softly like it’s a secret, “I’d do this,” and places his hands on Jensen’s face and kisses him, and it’s like Jared is meeting Jensen for the first time all over again. He wants to ask Jensen’s mouth questions about where it’d like to be, and Jensen’s neck if it would be okay with a little biting, and Jensen’s arms if they’re sure, if they’re sure they want to wrap them around Jared’s neck, because that would be awesome.

Jensen kisses like he’s hungry, unhesitant, like he’s been waiting for years, and Jared can’t believe he didn’t get to that conclusion earlier, when he had all this fucking data. Analysis was never his strong suit.

Then Jensen pulls away slightly, face flushed and freckles startling when this near, and says, a little breathlessly, “I’d have gone to medical school.”

Jared laughs loudly and kisses him again, thinks he wants to learn what else those lips can do.

---





~This story in Chinese here, translated by the awesome yjlee79!